Intergenerational trauma creates unconscious habits of fear and self-protection, shaping beliefs and responses across generations. By questioning these automatic reactions, individuals can break free from inherited patterns and choose conscious healing. Public acknowledgment, as seen in Rwanda’s reconciliation efforts, prevents suppression and allows for transformation, shifting trauma into a foundation for resilience.
In a recent Akashic Record Insights Workshop, we explored a bit about intergenerational trauma. Discussion began with this question:
What is the impact of intergenerational trauma?
Participant: What is the impact of trauma, intergenerationally?
Cheryl Marlene: You have a couple of hours?
There’s a lot they could address, but what they want to focus on in this moment is that the biggest habit—or the biggest impact—intergenerationally is that trauma becomes perceived as a habit. The habit is the idea that, in any moment, something bad or harmful is going to happen, and you must do whatever it takes to protect yourself.
This habit of self-protection becomes second nature, so much so that you don’t stop to think: Is this something I really need to do?
The habit then challenges you to find a new perspective. If you are unquestioning in the idea that you must always protect yourself, that belief becomes the foundation of your experiences, your choices, and everything you decide about what’s true for you.
But if you begin to question the premise that you must protect yourself, you start to move out of reaction and into a place of responsiveness. It becomes more about making conscious choices.
For example, if the trauma experienced by you or generations before you has created a belief that people are always going to be mean or hurtful, and if you’re not careful, they might even hit you—that belief becomes the habit. Then, whenever you are around other people, you may feel the need to hold yourself in and protect yourself, even when there is no real threat.
When you begin to think about and question those experiences—particularly the ones we typically don’t think of—you start to see them for what they are. Trauma-based habits often manifest as physical or somatic responses. These are automatic reactions, like flinching or shutting down, that you don’t question.
But when you do start to question them, you might realize, Oh my gosh, in that situation, I really didn’t need to be so protective.
Little by little, you begin to pull apart the threads of the habit. You stop blindly reacting and start making conscious choices about how to respond.
As this process continues, the energy of the habit begins to break down, until eventually, you may not have the habit anymore.
In a way, the intergenerational effect of trauma is that you can end up with what we might call post-traumatic stress, without understanding where the stress comes from. But when you start looking into it, you realize the stress isn’t truly yours. You may not know exactly where it comes from, or even that it’s intergenerational, and that doesn’t matter.
What matters is recognizing that the reaction wasn’t really yours—that if you had stopped to think about it, you would have chosen to respond differently.
Does that answer the question?
Participant: Yeah. I was thinking about the genocide in Rwanda, about 15 or 20 years ago, when the Hutus and the Tutsis basically massacred each other. They’ve made huge strides in reconciliation. In fact, I think they now have a parliament with a majority of women.
Cheryl Marlene: Yes, they’ve taken care of things.
Participant: That’s one way, but they’ve really made efforts to reconcile and make sure that nothing like that ever happens again. I just wondered how possible it is to reconcile without it showing up in some way in future generations.
Cheryl Marlene: What they would say about what’s happened in Rwanda is that one of the key differences—or unusual elements—was the willingness to publicly identify the problem.
They didn’t erase the event from their history books. They didn’t avoid talking to their children about it. They didn’t stop discussing it among themselves. They didn’t hide it.
Because they haven’t hidden it, they’ve been able to deal with the consequences of it much more in real time. In a sense, the habit that might have developed—one of denial or repression—is not being perpetuated.
This means that the historical, ancestral legacy around the event will be very, very different. The legacy being created is one of looking at it squarely, calling it what it is, and doing so without blame.
Blame is a key factor here. Blame is one of the most effective ways to create intergenerational habits that push generations apart or cause trouble from one generation to the next.
What remains to be determined in Rwanda is how the different generations will choose to continue from here. Will they maintain the integrity that’s been established? It’s a heavy responsibility, and plenty of people might not want to deal with that level of intensity.
There’s always the possibility of reverting to old patterns. But the steps they’ve taken are a powerful example of the potential for positive outcomes.
By not ignoring, denying, or repressing the truth, they’ve created a habit of openness. It’s a habit of acknowledging, individually and collectively, what happened.
This kind of openness doesn’t lead to repression but instead allows for healing and growth. It is a habit of honesty, one that provides a foundation for future generations to build on without being burdened by unspoken or unacknowledged trauma.
Find more content like this on Cheryl’s YouTube Channel.
